Long time passed!

I am back.  I have been running around like a chicken, which subsequently I have heard that raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens...coincidence??? I think NOT!  Anyway, the last 6 months have been a haze of sickness, chaos and just plain craziness.  I have been in a fog while working, may even be not holding onto my job if I do not snap out of this fog, the insanity in my home is at a peak stage I believe! I have 4 kids living in my 2 1/2 bedroom home...this means that I share a twin size bed with my 4 year old (when he is not there, I have a bed), I had 5 cats BUT did manage to whittle that down to 2...until yesterday when one of the 2 cats left managed to have 4 kittens....ARGH.  Did I mention there is a rat thrown into this mix also???  But fear not..this mother of 7 is Superwoman and will handle all with her superior power of kicking ass!  I love my life....



Hmmm..What to do..??

So here I sit, thinking..(trying not to hurt myself..lol), and thinking..AND thinking! I have been SO contemplating a move to Knoxville, TN since our visit with my family last month.  Coming home was almost traumatizing after 2 days in the mountain scenery and fresh air.. I miss my family loads with the only family that is really in my life being my kiddos.  I need some kind of emotional, physical, mental..blah...support in my life.  I haven't had that for awhile and it is really starting to wear on me..not good t'all!

..On top of all of this thinking is trying to decide what to do for Thanksgiving in terms of cooking and entertaining..well, kids anyway...and yes, they are entertaining..lolol! But anywho...this is my first Thanksgiving off in...well..forever, and I would really like to cook and have my kids this year!  Not happening at all with littlest guy, half-day with next guy up, and the teenagers and beyond...who knows!  Cooking for myself will be ok, I guess. Can fix WHATEVER suits my fancy..I like this idea alot!  So circle back to the Tennessee movement issue.  HOW does a body go about even starting to motivate with this sort of thing?  Two states away..find a suitable living environment,  job, transfer records from doctors, schools, juggle kids with dad still in Indiana...could make a person crazy, I say...but it would be well worth the move, and starting over in the most beautiful place imaginable!  HELP!! I need some words of wisdom..anyone???

But anyway..Happy Thanksgiving..give thanks for what you do have, and make sure that you never take it for granted! Blessed be..

Happy thoughts

So, here I am at my work away from home place..Library...and am having some reflection time on my past relationship with the father of my youngest son.  I know that things got bad, but don't we all have bad times sometimes.  We are now split in half, including our son, which in a word, sucks!  He is 3 and every minute that we split the time is time lost in seeing him grow...we pretty much keep up with him growing in pictures..wasn't there a song that was called that not too long ago??  I know this seems normal for our son, I am sure, but it is NOT normal for me!  Why do things have to go south..will they ever head north?  Such a great kid...just want that setting on a washer...normal..

That is him way down there on the bottom of the picture...cute, huh??!!  We went to visit my mom in Tennessee a few weeks ago...have a serious need to move down there!  About cried coming home to flat ole Indiana..Oh well! We are all where we are supposed to be in life, and what is, is...Happy thoughts to all!

Exhausting

This mom/head-of-household/full-time breadwinner gig is tiring....3 days till vacation, and what if it isn't enjoyable.  We are all just going camping, but in all reality, the vacation will be more like a trip..there is a difference!  The drought, as of right now in Indiana is causing burn bans all over the state, so what is camping without the campfire? BORING!! Plus, July 4th, one of my fav holidays, is only a week away, and so far there is to be NO fireworks?? This summer bites... Guess we will have to hold out for fall break..hoping for a small break in Gatlinburg, TN....Ahhh, fall in the mountains!!

May peace and tranquility go before and follow you always!

Post Birthday

Well I am officially OLD!  Yesterday was the day for turning 42...ugh!  I know age is just a number, but why does it have to keep going up??  I had a wonderful birthday weekend with the kids, though!  On Saturday, my Jackie and Mike took me to the tattoo parlor...they are so sweet to give this to me!  I know it had to cost a pretty penny, but my newest addition is a beauty!  I got an owl, which is my air/sun totem, to cover the eyesore that I had put on my chest in my younger, stupider, drunker years.  This one is so realistic that I cannot wait to wear tank tops and spaghetti strap shirts!  Someday I will post a picture....maybe.  Sunday, Jerrod and Tristan and myself went to the park.  I laid on a blanket in the sun and watched my little guys play and have fun...perfect day for a perfect birthday!

The morning after..

So Memorial Day Weekend was fantastic!  I got to spend it with most of my kids (sans the little one, and my 3 oldest), but none-the-less it was great!  We did absolutely nothing for Sunday, and Monday, we went to Indianapolis to walk the canal.  I find this perfect, and Mike(my "adopted" son) is from Virginia, and has not really seen the scenery in Indianapolis.  He and Jackie took some fantastic pictures on the canal of the artwork that has been painted for our city. Gorgeous day!  I had such a great time...LOVE my family so much!

My baby boy..

Well, today is day 2 of my little guy, who is three, being gone to Florida with his father to see family.  I am totally stressed out due to worry about what could happen, but probably won't!  Tristan is to be gone until I pick him up on Thursday evening.  I have NEVER in my life been away from a child this young for more than a day or two....This is the main reason for wanting to fix things in the relationship ( or should I say LACK OF relationship with his father).  He is probably out there on the beach running around with NO sunblock....keep in mind, he is a baby still, and is as fair as snow white too, I might add! Lord only knows that his father could never, ever take care of him as well as say...ME..haha!!  No, really, I am trying to have faith in good common sense and safe travel...but it really is testing me!

..a quiet moment of meditation is in order. me thinks!!